stir crazy

I get this feeling. A feeling I don't like very much. A feeling I often feel guilty for having. A feeling I don't often talk about. A feeling I am sometimes ashamed to have.

This feeling? I HATE staying home all day with my kids.

There. I said it.

I just can't do it. It's not my kids, it's the staying home thing. Remember a couple days ago when I said I would be doing nothing all weekend? Well both yesterday and today we've left the house to do one thing or another. I just cannot stay home all day with them. I get anxious, antsy and irritated. I never could put a name to my feeling but was just reading another blog and she said she was going "stir crazy" and I had my ah ha moment.

I feel stir crazy!

Am I the only one who ever feels this way?

My day is scheduled in chunks. Up at 6/7. Breakfast. Play. Nap for Coop. Lunch. Play. Nap for Coop and Ellie. Play. Dinner. Baths. Bed.

Sometimes I can't stand it. That sounds terrible. I love my kids. I even want more! But the mundane routine just annoys me so much some days.

I am going to start putting Cooper in daycare 1 day e/o week when Ellie is in school. I am feeling desperate lately for some time alone. Greg is working so much (6 days of 12 hr shifts this week alone) and I feel like a single mom a lot of the time.

I never get to go to the grocery store alone. I don't get to go to work alone. Heck, I barely get a chance to ever go to the bathroom alone. I couldn't even get away for 30 minutes this past week to go order myself some new glasses alone. I took Cooper with me. You can imagine how well that went. I am feeling overwhelmed with little bodies and need a break.

Don't get me wrong. I love my babies. But need to start loving me and putting me first every once in a while. Don't they always say to be a good mom you have to take care of yourself first?