i'm on a roll so why stop?

Since I'm already having a pity party I though I'd throw in the fact that I should be in St. Cloud tonight celebrating my friend Mikki's upcoming wedding with her bachelorette party... but no one would take my kids and Greg has to work this weekend.

I'm not one to go all crazy anymore and get wasted and be crazy, etc... but I think, had I had the chance to go tonight... I would have had one hell of a hangover tomorrow morning... and it would have been SO worth it!

I hope you girls are having fun and I really wish I would have been able to come! :(

more WHINE when what i really need is WINE

I have checked out for the night. Off the clock. I am not getting up AT ALL. (yeah, all talk, I know.)

I have already put Ellie to bed and it's 6:46. Cooper was up there but will not stop crying. I actually threw his nook against the wall. Why is this child testing me so? There MUST be some reason.

We have just begun talking about having a 3rd at some point in the next 1.5-2 years. Do we want to or not? Greg would be ok with what we have. Or he'd take one more.

One minute I do, then Cooper reminds me again why I don't.

My blog has turned into a GIGANTIC whine fest lately and for that I am sorry, but this is my journal after all.

I can't handle another month of no sleep. Ellie was SO good. Such a good sleeper. She was also a good eater. Cooper will not eat anything. We were doing pretty well with rice cereal and a fruit or veggie for dinner. Then we started rice cereal for breakfast. Now we do neither. All he does is cry and fuss when we try to feed him solids. He throws his arms up and gets angry. He fusses. So we've gone back to full time bottles. He eats every 3-4 hours and he is almost 8 months old. UGH. Maybe this is normal... but I feel like he should go longer between 8 oz bottles. It is amazing how much you can forget about infants/parenting from one child to the next. Otherwise maybe I'm just a dimwit. Actually, with this lack of sleep I KNOW I am a dimwit.

Kids are wonderful little creatures aren't they?

Thank God I have some bud light in the fridge. Cheers! :)

p.s. Now Ellie is asking to have her ears pierced for her birthday... she is going to be 4. Should we do it at this age?? I just don't know. I have told her it will hurt. It will be like getting a flu shot in her ear lobe. That for days after wards they are going to be sore. That we will have to clean and take care of them. That they cannot come out. What to do? The bike was so much easier! But I'd love to get her ears pierced. She is such a girly girl and is always putting on her clip ons and her bracelets... dressing up. She always wants to wear a dress when we leave the house. Jeans just "aren't pretty" she has said. I don't even know where they pierce ears today... or how much it costs... anyone know?

what about what i need?

I need help. I need a break. I need a full nights sleep. I need to be selfish and have ME time. Ugh. I don't mean to complain but I am just tired and running on fumes. Hanging by my last thread. My house is a mess. Cooper doesn't sleep through the night. I NEED him to sleep through the night or I am going to go mad. I might already be going mad now that I think about it. Ellie wakes up at 6, sometimes 6:30 and sometimes 5:50. I can't be up through the night and then get up with her this early.

I need advice. Help. I need, I need, I need to do something for me.

the cutest kid ever made (and also the cutest kid who never sleeps through a damn night for his over tired momma)

easter n stuff

**I typed this post over a week ago and am just now posting it**

I keep seeing all these wonderful Easter posts with little ones dying eggs, wearing pretty dresses, attending Easter egg hunts... I assure you we did all those things (minus the dying of eggs) but for some reason my camera has been on hiatus the last couple months. I have taken zero pictures.

During this time there have been many picture worthy moments. Cooper has gotten a tooth... and now a second. It was Easter. Ellie took a tumble across my parents deck and fell full speed head first into their door frame as I stood with the door open thus creating the biggest owie one has ever seen on the forehead of a 3 year old. Ellie has been in swim lessons. All picture worthy... but with a lazy momma. Or a momma with 4897344210 thought running thru my head at any moment that I have room for little else. The camera being the last thing on my mind.

Work is crazy. This week alone I had to pick up 4 shifts for staff who called in. This IS NOT what I had in mind when I wanted to go back to work part time. I actually had a 5th call in but I was already working at that point so I couldn't cover her shift. She also called ONE HOUR into her shift. One hour into her shift. Yes, that is what I said. Not before her shift started, but one hour after not showing. Seriously. Teenagers.

Don't get me wrong. I love this job and the challenge it is right now. I love being in charge and all that comes with it. I love being able to make the necessary changes to make the program the best it can become.

((At this moment Ellie is whipping a small blanket around saying, "look at all the sparkles..." I told her they were called dust... she is running around saying, "why are they all over?" "They look so pretty everywhere!" Ummm... I guess I need to dust.))

OMG. Never a dull moment. Now Ellie just came over to me and said, "mom, I'm pooping in my underwear." WTH.

what kind of day do you think i'm having when at 1:53 p.m. this is my lunch...

I've stopped buying Coke at home for myself... cold turkey. So what's the best alternative when you are thirsty and are tired of water? Juice? Tea? Coffee? Milk? Nope. Beer.

ellie's wish list

Ellie is sitting here telling me her birthday list... to funny not to share.

Squeaky Dolphin pillow pet... one of those "as seen on TV" deals. They are pretty cute.

A "real" camera.

A "real" phone. (She is not getting a cell phone so don't even think about it anyone.)

A Barbie house.

Wings. (She wants to fly)

Barbie with dogs and cats. With a leash.

A checkbook.

Glasses.

Book markers.

A jumparoo for her baby.

A rocking chair for herself.

and the list keeps going on and on...

A bike (we are buying her this, shhhhhh)

A helmet.

A retainer for her teeth, "like you have mommy, for when I turn 16."

coopy

The Coop, Coopy, Super Duper Cooper, Cooper Pooper, Bud... we call him many things. I mostly call him Coopy. My baby. He is getting SO big! He has a tooth now. He was just under 19 lbs at his 6 month appointment. He is 29 inches and his head is a whopping 18 inches around. At nearly 4 Ellie has finally passed the 28lbs she's weighed for the past year or more and now weighs 32 lbs. I just can't believe how big he is compared to her!

He is funny. He is giggly. Pudgy. Chunky. Loves to be tickled. Rolls and rolls and rolls. He is drooly. He is getting so much cute blonde hair. He is fussy. So, so fussy lately. I'm thinking it's his teeth. He has been a very different baby than Ellie was. He never sleeps during the day other than 2 or 3 small cat naps... like 20 minutes each. Which is exhausting for mom and dad.

He is already almost 7 months old! It sounds so cliche to say but time does really go so fast. He is becoming a little person more and more each day and my heart just wants to burst because I want him to stay the little peanut that he is.

I remember finding out I was pregnant with a boy and being SO scared. I didn't know what I would do with a boy. How I would respond to a boy. How I would relate to a boy. Ha! I have never even thought about those things since the first moment I saw him. All the fear slipped away and oh how I love me some Coopy!

apparently i need to watch my mouth

I can't remember if I posted about this a few weeks back but one night at dinner Ellie blurted out... "Jesus Christ that was good!"

My sister and I almost spit our food out and had to run away from the table. Greg did the explaining and told her what she had said and what it meant. Greg is guilty there.

End of story. No bad words since... until yesterday.

We pulled into a parking space and she says, "Those damn cars park so close to our car we can't even get Cooper's car seat out!"

Well, I have to admit that one is my fault.

the grass is always greener

There are days when I want to pull my hair out. Days I want to curl up on the couch and float away. Days where I want to run as far away from my life as I can.

Yesterday was one of those days. Work was crazy. I had the kids with me, which makes it all the crazier. We had swim lessons. Cooper was cranky. (I think it's the teeth.) I haven't gotten enough hours in this week since I've had to take the kids with me every day but Monday. So I'm stressing about that. To top it off I had forgotten to wear nursing pads and was leaking all over my shirt. My shirt at work. Lovely.

Packing up kids and hauling them around is such a chore!! We had the stroller loaded with so much crap... swim suits, towels, cooler pack full of bottles, juice and snacks, diaper bag, computer bag, work bag... and Cooper. I love my kids but I long for those easy mornings of jumping in the shower, listening to radio, taking my sweet old time, getting ready without being interrupted 194578403589 times and then hopping in the car, turning up the tunes and driving to work in peace.

global warming?

What is going on here? 81 degrees today. In Minnesota. On April 1st. Not a drop of snow in March... which is usually the snowiest month of the year.

With all the environmental catastrophes going on lately this is kinda freaking me out!