the weather outside is frightful...

Or at least it's going to be. Another foot of snow (or more) predicted on top of what we already have... snow blower's ready and so is Greg!

We are headed to my parents house tomorrow to spend a few days there... otherwise I have a feeling we are going to be snowed in on Christmas eve and Christmas day. So I better go make my gigantic list of baby/kid stuff that they require to get through 2 (maybe 3) days. Ugh.

A few more pics before I go... my attempt to get a Christmas card... didn't go so well.

Merry Christmas to you all!

flower girl to be... September 2010

my wish list

I really, really, really want a Kindle for Christmas. I'll keep dreaming...

This year I asked for more practical things as we NEED some things... even though I WANT some other things.

I asked for sheets, a loaf pan and a couple cookie sheets. Gift cards for gas, groceries and the place I get my haircut. A food processor so I can make most of Coop's food. Diapers for Coop (we cloth). I even asked for a new kitchen broom. Lame huh? Such is life in this economy.

My favorite Christmas presents are right here... aren't they the cutest?! :)

i hate snow

I'm hunkered down. Are you? (If you live in SE Minnesota) 10-15+ inches of snow is headed our way this evening and tomorrow. Yippee. ((sarcasm))

I will not be going anywhere. I HATE driving in this weather. Honestly out in the boonies where we live we'll be lucky to have our roads plowed by Thursday. Ish. Why do I live here?!

yeah, i know. i rock.

So we are broke. Who isn't these days... but I needed a baptism outfit for Cooper. And I cannot stand those ugly tuxedo looking things they have in all the stores. (Sorry if your baby wore one, it's just my opinion.) I found this second hand baby store in Rochester, MN a year ago or so and I LOVE it! I was there a couple weeks ago and found this sweet little white Gap sweater with a matching hat for $5.99. Then a couple days later I was trying to figure out how I was going to find white pants and I just thought I'd check ebay. Well I found these adorable little Ralph Lauren corduroy pants for $5.99. How perfect was that! For less than $12 I have a super cute outfit. I'm proud of myself. Have you ever seen how much those little tux's cost!?!?! It's like one month of my cell phone bill! No. Thank. You.

Ain't that the truth. ;)

what mommy doesn't know won't hurt her...

Tonight Ellie informed me that "daddy doesn't always make me wash my hands after going potty when you aren't home."

Right in front of Greg.

Hahahahahaha! No secrets anymore!

I am a hand washing freak. I hate germs.

The end.

I have a ginormous son! And I am a whiner.

My son is a brute. I have no idea what he weighs exactly. Has to be well over 12 lbs. He is wearing 0-6 month Robeez that are almost to small for him and he is 8 weeks old yesterday. (Which seems so strange... I feel like he's been with me forever!) Ellie didn't wear this size Robeez until she was almost 6 months old. Holy cow. What a difference! Most of his clothes are now 6 months or larger. I realize using cloth diapers takes up a bit more room than disposables... but not that much more!

In other news: (some info here is going to be very personal... (clearing throat) mom and dad you might want to stop reading now!)

I am tired. This is hard with 2 kids. Greg and I argue about the stupidest shit. We misinterpret what seems like almost everything we say to each other. I think he's being sarcastic, he thinks I'm annoyed... I want help with things but don't think I should have to ask for it... cause you know ladies... they should just know what you want and be smart enough to just offer to help!! Right??! But boom, then starts the arguing. I'm just kinda tired of it. The last week has been better but the first 7 weeks we were home was NOT FUN. Which I'm sure (along with all the other hormonal events in the last few months) has led to me having no interest what so ever in "playing hockey" with my husband. (You got that, right?) I hope my hormones get back to normal soon and that changes... because I'm sure that isn't helping the situation either.

Ellie is an emotional monster. I'm sure Greg would say the same thing about me.

I hate when I have let down. It makes my boobs hurt so bad!

This is turning into a grumpy post which I didn't intend. I was going to do a post all about my HUGE kid. Oh well.

I get Marie Claire and US Weekly magazine. I used to read them in one day (the day they came in the mail)... now seriously I am weeks behind in my reading. This sucks.

I have had to learn so much patience and unselfishness in the last few weeks. This also sucks because some days I just want to be so selfish with my time, but can't.

My body is acting weird. I seriously start to sweat in my armpits when I pump. What is up with that? I can FEEL myself perspiring and it is a disgusting feeling. And it goes away the minute I am done.

The other weird thing that has happened since giving birth is that my hair is so oily. I've never really had a problem with greasy hair. I used to be able to shower on Friday for work, then on Saturday if we just bummed around the house or did work outside I wouldn't necessarily need to wash my hair again... it would be ok for the day. Now I can barely go 24 hours and my hair is dripping with grease. (ok, not really but you get my point)

My hubby had an interview yesterday back in his hometown. So yeah. We might be moving there if the job is offered to him. I am both nervous and excited about this. We shall see. This is probably adding to our stress level also... since he is OH SO HAPPY at his current place of employment.

I feel like I can never catch up on laundry. I must do at least 3-4 loads a day.

I wish I had the money to hire a nanny one or two days a week. I would love to go volunteer somewhere and have some ME time. (and catch up on my laundry :))

I think I am feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated. I feel terrible now knowing I probably made my mom feel this way at one time or another. Sorry mom.

Have I whined enough for you? Ok, I'll keep going.

I scrubbed my kitchen floor last week. I even took a hard scrub brush and scrubbed all the trim work and where the trim meets the floor and got it brand spankin clean. My floor has never been so clean and we've lived here for almost 5 years.

I have started cleaning a couple houses for cash. I really enjoy cleaning other people's houses but hate cleaning my own.

I wish I had more money. Life is challenging when you don't have enough.

We no longer get anywhere on time. (please take note of that real life family and friends.) I swear we don't do it on purpose!

We have a kitty we need to find a new home for. She is feisty, cuddly, moody, loving, playful and adorable. She just isn't getting the attention she needs from us and is acting up. I don't want to put up with it. I have enough to worry about right now. Honestly all she is doing is getting on our tables and kitchen counters and will lick or eat anything in site. It isn't a huge deal (at least she's not peeing) but it totally grosses me out. I am just tired of it. I know it is our fault. But if I don't have time for myself how can I have time for Callie? So if you know of someone who is looking for a cat and is a wonderful pet owner please leave me a message here or email me!

With all this negativity you'd think I was an unhappy person. But I really am not. I love my husband and my kids. I love being home with them. I just can't get enough of this new little man in my life. I have great friends and awesome family. I'm just getting through that post-baby funk I think. Maybe a move to a new town and starting over fresh will be just what I need. Will keep you all posted!

For your viewing pleasure! :)
This picture just melts my heart!
My (grumpy) cheerleader and my little milker (couldn't be more true!).
All the kiddos. A cheerleader, a cow, a car air freshner (hands down the best costume I've EVER seen for a baby, worn by little miss Sam who is 2 weeks younger than Cooper), a monkey, Woody and a ladybug. They were all so cute!
I am so in love with this smile!

Hope you all have/had a good weekend! It is going to be in the mid 60's and beautiful in southern MN today... we will for sure be getting outside! Enjoy!!

my life...

I spend a lot of my time...

Doing laundry.
Picking up WAY TO MANY TOYS! And this is just in the dining room! Her bedroom is worse. We are in the process of painting and turning a 3rd bedroom in or house into a playroom... these toys drive me crazy and I can't wait to just be able to shut the door! (Please take note of this grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles!!!!! She needs nothing more!!!)

Washing little ones...

and washing dishes.
Cooking food, picking up the house, losing my patience, explaining that the couch is for butts not feet, sweeping the floor, washing little hands, kissing owies, wiping butts, vacuuming, picking mac and cheese off the floor.

But it is so worth it... because of these 2 cuties!!

Here's my little honey bun... I tried to get him to smile for you but all you're gettin is a little smirk!
My beautiful miss Ellie. 3 going on 15. Today I told her she needed to "chill." (does it go chill". or chill." I never know. Any english teachers out there??) So anyway, I tell her to chill because this girl can TALK and TALK and TALK. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I just need a break. 5 seconds of quiet would be perfect. But she doesn't stop unless she has food in her mouth or is sleeping... it is EXHAUSTING! The girl honestly looked at me and said, "Adults need to chill, not kids." Well... oooooooooooooook then. I guess she told me. :)

Oh and get this! When Ellie and I unpacked our Halloween bin this year I found these cute leaf plates that I got from my MIL's rummage sale. For some reason I turned the plate over and read the bottom (because I was thinking they'd make a cute spoon rest and wanted to see if it said "do not use with food" as some decorative things do... well it says this on the bottom, "Prop 65 Warning: Handling this product exposes you to lead, a chemical known in the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm. Wash hands after use." WTF? In the trash they went.

and she makes me laugh every day...

mmmm... candy corn

Ellie just came into the living room with her little dish of candy corn. She gave me one piece and told me she also had one piece for daddy and one piece for Cooper. I told her Cooper doesn't have any teeth and can't eat our food for a while.

I asked her if I could eat Coopers piece. ;0) She said, "NO! I am saving this piece for Cooper when he's bigger".

That will be one STALE piece of candy corn, eh?

out and about with ellie

Today Ellie and I went to the park. She loves to swing and is just getting the hang of pumping her legs to make herself go higher. Today I was telling her to pump and she says, "oh it's like when you pump your boobs!"

Yeah, ok, kinda the same?!

my weight

Yesterday I lifted Ellie to give her a hug and she seemed SO heavy so I thought I'd weigh her to see if she's gained any weight. We have been stuck at the 28 lb mark for her forever and she never goes above that... even at 3 1/2 years old! Well, she was still there. I never ever weigh myself but since I had the scale out I thought I'd see how much I'd lost since having Cooper. Now I know I'm not a small girl and being that this is my journal I am going to just put it all out there... since I plan to continue losing with the 30 Day Shred and want to blog about it you will all know my weight then anyways. So... dun dun dun... I weighed 220 lbs 3 days before delivering Cooper. I weighed 210 when I got pregnant in December. Now holy hannah banana yesterday I weighed 194! Down 26 lbs!! I don't think I've been that low since I graduated from college 8 years ago! I am in shock. I feel like I've been eating crappy. Grabbing a bowl of whatever I've made Ellie for lunch... like mac n cheese. Drinking to much pop and coffee. Eating cookies and chips. Must be the breastfeeding. And if this is the case... I think I'm going to breastfeed Coop until he's 27.

my life with 2 kids... lord help me!

Wow, hi! It has been so long since I've updated here! Everything is going ok. Life has definitely changed. I am crazy tired. Getting very little sleep sure can do some crazy things to your body/mind! I have so much on my mind to talk about and my mind is just a cluster of thoughts right now. So this post may be a bit choppy!

Cooper is getting so big already! He eats like a horse. He is just completely the opposite of Ellie. He took to a bottle the very first time. He doesn't sleep much during the night and always wants to be held (even when he sleeps) so that is a tad challenging. He'll sleep 3 hours straight in my arms or 1 hour in his bed... hmm... which do you think I prefer? I am pumping and we are feeding him a bottle during the day so I can get a bit of a break. At night I breastfeed. Last Monday at discharge class he already weighed 10 lbs 5 oz! He will be 5 weeks old on Friday. Cloth diapering is going good. I usually wash a load of them every day but it seems so much easier then spending $50+ a month on disposables. The pictures below show one of the brands we were using... they are called Kushies... but I was not happy with their inability to hold in blowouts... in other words... we had to many leaks and so these are going on ebay. I much prefer the Bummis... will do a post on those later.

Ellie is adjusting. She is being naughtier than usual and her mouth has gotten her in trouble a few times. I am not able to give her as much of my time (obviously!) which has been breaking my heart a bit also. She is saying some weird things... like telling us she is sad (ugh, breaks my heart!). So we are now trying to give her more attention and positive attention. We want to have an Ellie and Mommy day and an Ellie and Daddy day once a month so we are hoping that'll help when we start that. We will do things like go to the park, have lunch, go have a coffee, etc. Just to make her feel more special. Yesterday we got a much needed break when my sister offered to take Ellie for the day. She took her out to lunch and shopping. Greg and I were able to run errands in peace! With just Cooper. We even had a quiet lunch alone. It was marvelous!!

Greg is also adjusting. This has been real hard for him. He was never certain he wanted children and now he has 2! He has a short fuse with all of us at times... he isn't a fan of the newborn stage of sleeping, eating, changing and crying. He was just perfectly content with Ellie and the nice routine we had with her. Cooper has thrown that routine WAY out of order!! :) Like I said... still adjusting! :)

I am also adjusting. My body is pretty much back to normal minus the jelly belly with terribly ugly squiggly lines running every direction over it! I healed well and fast this time. My mind on the other hand has not healed so much... I am tired and emotional. I am overloaded with emotions. I feel sad one moment content the next. I feel lonely. I feel overwhelmed. I feel scared because Greg is going back to work next week and I am going to be alone with 2 little bodies who need SO MUCH FROM ME! He is going back to nights also so I am going to have to be up all nigh (alone) with Cooper and then get up bright and early (usually 7) with Ellie. How the hell am I going to function? Plus I am looking at cleaning 2 family members homes once a week and my old boss is asking me when I'm ready to come work for her once a week or so and I have jewelry parties on my calendar. OMG. Can we say OVERWHELMED?!?! I am so overwhelmed. Ugh. I have my 6 week appointment in a week and a half so until then I am just not going to commit to any work schedule. I need to get my head and my hormones back in line... but am really feeling the pressure because we need the $$ so bad!

Greg has been out of work for over a month... not by our choice. So we have been hit hard financially and that has also caused a lot of my overwhelming feelings. He is our only income at this time and going from that to NOTHING is a bit of a challenge when one has a mortgage, utilities, student loans, etc... this last month has been nothing short of a miracle that we are still hanging on here, still married, still in love actually! We have been blessed with Greg's dad and my family being able to help us financially. We have been given so many wonderful gifts from friends/family... clothes for Cooper, formula, money, toys, gifts for Ellie and even paint for 2 rooms in our house (from Melissa - click here)!! Wow. It really has been unbelievable.

Ok. "my life with 2 kids" will continue another day. I have a heater of a little body sleeping on my chest and another one requesting something to drink... so I best be on my way.

Ta~ta for now :)

A few of you had commented on my blog and/or thru email about how you thought that our having a few minutes with Ellie as a family of 3 for the last time before starting to push was touching to you. So I thought I'd share a picture of us from that few minutes... the last picture of us as a family of 3..

pictures!

Because we just had to be 100% sure... :) (we actually took 6 tests in about 4 days!)

Our little Cooper at 8 weeks old.

A few of my favorite pics of Coopers birthday.












We've got none of Daddy on the computer yet... since he was taking all the pictures I'll have to get my mom's pictures loaded onto our computer then I'll post more!