A few of you had commented on my blog and/or thru email about how you thought that our having a few minutes with Ellie as a family of 3 for the last time before starting to push was touching to you. So I thought I'd share a picture of us from that few minutes... the last picture of us as a family of 3..

pictures!

Because we just had to be 100% sure... :) (we actually took 6 tests in about 4 days!)

Our little Cooper at 8 weeks old.

A few of my favorite pics of Coopers birthday.












We've got none of Daddy on the computer yet... since he was taking all the pictures I'll have to get my mom's pictures loaded onto our computer then I'll post more!

I'm paranoid... are you?

Ok, call me crazy but I am seriously afraid of his H1N1 flu. I am paranoid that my baby is going to get it and not be able to survive it. Like I said, call me crazy, but this seriously gives me huge amounts of anxiety and fear. If I think about it to much I start bawling like a baby because I feel like I can't protect him, like it's out of my control. Not a cool feeling.

So today I Googled "What happens if my newborn gets H1N1?" I found this website where Claire McCarthy, a Harvard Pediatrician, answers moms questions regarding the flu. Here's her answer.

How can I protect my newborn? Should I avoid going out in public places with her?

Newborns are vulnerable to all sorts of germs, not just flu viruses, so keeping them protected is a good idea all the time, not just now. Here are some ideas for keeping your newborn (actually, any baby less than six months old) healthy:
• Be careful about who holds and touches her. Everybody wants to hold and touch babies, because they are so cute--but anybody who is even slightly sick should keep their distance. If you present it as a "rule", people will be less likely to take offense (not that you should care if they do).
• Even if people seem healthy, insist that they wash their hands (or use hand sanitizer) before holding or touching the baby.
• Avoid crowded public places if possible. If you need to go out, consider using a sling or other baby carrier that keeps her close to you.
• Breastfeed! Breast milk contains antibodies that can help keep her healthy. Don't stop breastfeeding if you get sick--the antibodies your body makes to fight your infection will pass through the milk and give her a head start on fighting the same infection. If she gets sick, breast milk is absolutely the best thing for her.

So, I am going to try to remain calm. That's a BIG "try". We went to church on Sunday and I did wear him in my baby bjorn... but I just think I'll be less worried if I don't go to church for a few weeks or so (avoiding a very public place) and I might even have Greg do most of the grocery shopping since he's off for another month. We will continue to let Ellie go to Sunday School as I feel she obviously has a stronger immune system.

We have Coop's 2 week appointment on Friday afternoon and you better believe it that I'll be asking our pediatrician about a thousand questions about all this. Ugh. Parenting brings on all sorts of new worries to an already hormonal, emotional worry-wart mommy like me! :)

Cooper's Birth Story

~ Thursday September 10th 2009 ~

I woke up this day with contractions from the get-go. They were sporadic. Mild. They didn't seem a ton different than all the braxton hicks I'd had in the prior 2 months. We went about our day. Had company over for a little play date. Then had a meeting in Hudson that evening for lia sophia. Hudson is almost an hour away for us so we weren't sure if we should go or not... but I figured why not, this is probably nothing anyways. So off we went. The meeting started at 7 and I was still feeling pretty good at that point. As the meeting went on though we were in small group discussion and I kept having more painful contractions. I tried my hardest not to let on that they were happening. But I was getting SO hot that I thought my face and neck must be beat red. As it was time to switch groups I asked my sister if I was red and she said I wasn't. We finished up the small groups and got back together as one large group. Awards were handed out for the month of August. Greg and I got King and Queen of sales again for our unit! Woot woot!! :) My manager also mentioned what a dedicated team we were to be there in the midst of possibly going into labor! Little did we all know how right she was! :)

During the drive home I was having more steady consistent and painful contractions. We got to my parents to pick up Ellie around 10:15 and were home by about 10:45. I got the feeling that my parents wanted us to stay in town for the night due to the contractions but I just really wanted to get home and sleep in my own bed. (We live about 30 minutes from town out in farm country... so it would take us that long to get to the hospital.)

~Friday September 11th 2009 ~

I finally crawled into bed around midnight. The contractions continued... I was woken up at 2 a.m. by much more painful contractions. I kept track of them until 2:40 (they were every 5 minutes apart) then I woke up Greg and said I think it's time to go. We called the hospital first and the OB nurse told me to take a bath and drink some water first... this is what they always say because if they are false contractions doing both those things will tend to ease the contractions and/or take them away completely. I was thinking... you take a bath and drink a couple glasses of water lady! I'm coming in!! But instead I said, the pain is so bad during the contractions that all I want to do is swear. She said, come on in! :)

We met my parents at the hospital. I was at about 3 minutes apart by then and oh did I have to pee. BAD. We made our way up to OB where they proceeded to hook me up to monitors and all that junk. IV was in. They checked me and I was 4 cm dilated. By this time it was 3:30 a.m.

Now is where all the timing goes awry in my brain. It was a blur between 3:30 a.m. and 9:45 a.m. when I was finally dilated to 10 cm. During this time I was given an IV drug that I thought would be able to get me thru labor so I wouldn't need the epidural. Shaaa right. It worked for a bit in the beginning... maybe 30 minutes or so. I felt totally loopy and at ease... but then it wore off. By the time I was dilated to 6 cm I asked for the epi. It was given to me and I was comfortable... but then something happened and it only was working on the left side of my body. I was having this very direct pain in one particular spot in my abdomen area on the right side that hurt more and more with each contraction.

During all this the monitors were picking up a heartbeat for Cooper at about 60-70 some beats per minute. This was WAY to low as it should be around 120-140 ish... but soon they realized they were picking up MY heartbeat. Thank God.

The contractions continued and that spot in my abdomen continued to hurt like hell. The nurse offered to have anesthesia come up and give me something else to help take the edge off and I was so nervous to take MORE drugs but I finally just said YES PLEASE! So they gave me to more injections in my IV and oh as quick as that the pain was gone. Gone in between contractions anyway. It was just so weird, I had the epidural but I could still feel every single contraction. Just in a lessor form.

Finally it was 9:45 and I was dilated to 10 cm. I knew Ellie and my parents had just gotten to the hospital as we all thought it would take longer to get to 10... and the nurse said pushing now wasn't imminent so if I wanted to spend a few minutes with Ellie before starting to push I could. So in came my beautiful little girl with my parents. They spent about 15 minutes with us and took one last family picture before leaving. It was such an emotional time for me. I was sad that our family of 3 was changing (here I go, crying again right now), it was time to push (the hardest part was still ahead of me and I knew it), my parents, Greg and Katie were emotional and I was so scared to start pushing. SO SCARED. I was bawling. I knew what the result was 3 years ago when I pushed and I just was dreading the entire thing again. Dr. S came up to me many times during laboring just to comfort me and assure me that the second time around was usually very different than the first. He was such a great doctor. I was blessed to have him AND my pediatrician for Ellie on staff that day/weekend.

Time to push. I was pissed. I thought everyone was lying to me. I was tired of hearing the, "good job Kris's", the "you're doing greats", the "keep it ups"... I just wanted to say shut the eff up and tell me the truth... I didn't feel like the pushing was doing anything. I wanted to give up many times and the thought that ran thru my head most often was... can I just have a C-section please? But as time went on I do have to say this labor was SO very different than Ellie's. I was able to move around. Push on my back, pull on the overhead bar, get up and lean on the overhead bar and push in a squatting position and then finally found the position that worked... I lay on my right side with my left leg being held up to my chest by Katie or Greg and pushed. This is how I was the entire remainder of the delivery.

This time around I was so much more aware of my surroundings. I felt like I was involved in this delivery. I could feel every contraction. Every bit of pressure. But yet it was so peaceful (after all the drugs set in ;)). I was so aware of everything that at one point it was SO damn quiet in the room I asked that they turn on CMT so I could at least hear some music during all this!

Cooper's head was finally making it down the canal and with each push Dr. S would tell me, ok - we are at the knuckle in the middle of my finger, ok- we are at the knuckle nearest my fingernail... this helped SO much because I was able to understand just how close Coopers head was to the outside world! I felt with each push that I just had to push a little harder and it would all be over!

And finally, after pushing for just a little over 2.5 hours it was over. His head was out... then his little body. He was on me in an instant and stayed there for quite some time. Greg cut the cord. They told me that I should let them know when I was ready to have him weighed, etc. They didn't whisk him off for tests, etc. With Ellie it was so different because she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice and they had to use the vacuum to get her out. It was such chaos and confusion. I didn't know what was happening, Greg didn't get to cut her cord, there were so many distractions and fears of the unknown that I just didn't get to enjoy the moment.

With Ellie I had 3rd degree tears up and down my perineum and deep into the area. This time around I had only 5 stitches and probably would have had less but Dr. S found a cyst inside my perineum that he removed. (Dr. S just called today and said it was benign.) I am definitely sore and will need a good couple weeks to heal... I think my tail bone area took the brunt of the delivery... it is very, very sore... but I just feel so good. I can sit for periods, walk, play with Ellie and pretty much go on as usual. With Ellie I was unable to sit in a car without a donut pillow for weeks!

And if you can believe it, while it hurt like hell, I enjoyed Coopers labor and delivery. It was so beautiful. So, so beautiful. Greg will kill me for saying this when he reads this... but while the day after delivery I said, WE ARE DONE! Now, 6 days later I'm like... hmm... I'm loving this baby thing... I would SO do it again!! :)

Another difference this time around is that I'm so peaceful at home. I was very sad to leave the nurses as they are such a crutch for a new mom. Always there with the push of a button for help, with answers to your questions, with drugs :), with food, etc... I really still do miss them. But with Ellie I was in such a new place. I didn't know what I was doing. I was breast feeding and couldn't believe how much time I had to spend feeding her. I was angry and frustrated a lot of the time. This time I just am at ease. I am happy to go have 20 quiet minutes with Cooper 15,000 times a day so he can eat. He is just this beautiful little being who needs me to feed him and kiss him and love him with patience and I am able to do it so much easier this time around and I'm not sure why? Maybe I'm no longer scared that I'm not doing something right. Or maybe just knowing that I've done this before and knowing that Ellie has grown into a beautiful smart as a whip little girl, that I can do it again, no problem.

Oh I love being a mom. Love it.

baby

Cooper Owen

born: 12:55 p.m. Friday, September 11th

weight: 8 lbs 6 oz

length: 21 inches

update

I'm still here!! And no baby yet. I totally thought I'd have him by now... guess he has other plans. I haven't had much else go on in the way of contractions. I have been having some since this morning... they are different than the ones I've previously had. They are sharper... but they don't last as long and they are further apart. I don't know... I'm hoping they are just starting up today and will continue to get stronger and closer together so we can get this show on the road.

Things have been quite chaotic around here lately. Greg has been in jeopardy of losing his job... which we've known about for a few weeks now. We didn't know for sure but assumed the worst. Yesterday he had a meeting at work and they informed him that they had planned to terminate him but had decided that morning, at the very last minute because of an incident we didn't know about, that they were instead going to give him 20 days off unpaid with a few other stipulations. Greg works 12 hour shifts, because of this he only works 14 days a month. So 20 shifts might not sound like a ton... but he'll be off until late October. I'm not going to go into details about what happened to cause this... we'll just say that he knows what he did wrong and has tucked his tail between his legs and ate a HUGE piece of humble pie yesterday.

That's my update for today. I will not let so much time go again in between posts! I'm sorry to keep you guys wondering... thanks for the comments and emails!

Have a good Thursday!

stuff on my mind

Think I lost some if not all of my mucous plug today. Ish. I know, sorry. But this is my journal remember?

I'm paranoid about this flu season with a baby who cannot get the vaccinations.

I'm getting real tired of cat hair.

I hate that we turned our cable tv off. No tv really sucks ass. I'm especially tired of Barbie movies.

I'm missing some of my beloved maternity pants... a couple of the few pair that actually fit me right now.

I need to buy a few things for the baby and we are broke. I need to get a job. What's the likelihood of that happening anytime in the next 8 weeks? Crappity crap crap. Feel free to leave donations at White Rock Bank in our name. :) (I booked no shows for the 1st 3 weeks of September since we didn't know when this babe would get here!)

I really lucked out when I found Greg. When I think about how different my life could have turned out with an a-hole of a husband... especially during these times when I'm an emotionally sensitive whiner... he is so patient. He cleaned up the kitchen, made dinner and put Ellie to bed tonight. Love him.

Did I mention that having no tv really sucks? I've already finished a book and every damn magazine in this house.

Thank God for the internet.

To preschool or not to preschool... that is our current dilemma.

Some days I just have to remember that tomorrow is another day and pray that God makes it a better day! Things may happen that are beyond our control. We will make it through those things... together. We have what we need in each other. I am so lucky to have the family I have. Greg is so lucky to have the family he has.

My brain cannot think this hard anymore. Going to bed... night.

for real? wow. makes my second guessing about sending ellie to preschool a tad more justifiable!

N.Y. Schools Ban Touching To Fight H1N1

Students Urged To Have No Skin-On-Skin Contact With Swine Flu Outbreak Looming

Track The H1N1, Or Swine Flu, Virus: CDC | WHO

CBS News Interactive: H1N1 Virus

NEW YORK (CBS) ―

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DNA test kits of the the influenza A(H1N1) or Swine Flu virus prepared by PrimerDesign Ltd are displayed at the company laboratory in Southampton on May 2, 2009.

Leon Neal/AFP/Getty Images

Related Links

• CBS News Interactive: H1N1 Virus
• WCBS-TV Local Coverage

As students across America prepare to head back to school, officials and parents are bracing for a spike in swine flu cases. With the possibility that nearly 2 million people will be hospitalized, and 90,000 people across the country could die, one school district is taking no chances and has set into place a new "hands-off" approach to fighting the swine flu.

Chest bumps. High fives. Hugs and handshakes. Glen Cove Middle School students Ali Slaughter and Hannah Seltzer say that's what friends do on the first day of school. But when students in the Nassau community return to school next week, the superintendent will be urging abstinence. Everyone from the tiniest tots to the biggest high school football players will be asked to limit skin-on-skin contact in an attempt to prevent the spread of swine flu when it re-emerges this fall.

"It will [be hard] because you really like your friends and you didn't get to see them," Seltzer told WCBS-TV in New York.

Glen Cove high schooler Erica Cohen is on the soccer team, but says she knows even in a game that involves close physical content, she'll have to be as careful as she can be.

• CDC Web Site On H1N1
• CDC Map Of H1N1 Infection Estimates
• WHO's Web Site On H1N1
• Map Of H1N1 Cases Worldwide
• Video: Symptoms Of H1N1

"I don't really think it's such a big deal, if you wash your hands after - I think it's just you really can't avoid it," she says.

Lorena Galo filled out her health form and decided she can't give up hugging. "We're still going to hug either way," she says.

The policy is unorthodox and could be difficult to enforce, but Nassau Health Commissioner Dr. Maria Torroella Carney says it's a good way to educate awareness.

"Many people are trying to think outside of the box, creatively, how to minimize spread of the illness, how to protect others, and I applaud that thinking," she says.

Glen Cove parent Leonard Imperial thinks no touching is an overreaction.

"Unfortunately people get sick with flu and die every year, but I don't think this one is any different or particular that we have to worry about," he says.

But Parent Angela Hamel is already urging her sons follow the new guidelines.

"The high fives, I think just to cut down on transmission, it's probably good idea," she says. "I think it's a good way to prevent."

And many other parents seem to agree.

"Less contact would mean less germs and less illnesses and I think it's a good recommendation," says Donna Sita.

While they fear the spread of swine flu, health officials say they are more concerned about the possibility of widespread anxiety or panic when school begins. Officials are asking families to have tissues, ibuprofen and hand sanitizers on hand for students. School superintendants are gathering Thursday on Long Island to discuss prevention and address other concerns

"Hysteria should be avoided, but it's good that the school district is emphasizing keeping kids safe. Not touching won't prevent transmission. The virus can live on surfaces and be transmitted via coughs and sneezes," Dr. Holly Phillips says.

So why is talk of the swine flu cropping up again, and when will it hit its peak?

"It never left, but like the seasonal flu, we're expecting it to pick up in October and hit its peak during the winter months when we're closed inside and the illness is more easily transmitted," Phillips says. "The Center for Disease Control is expecting between 30 and 50 percent of Americans will be affected by it."

As for the swine flu vaccine, Phillips says it should be out by mid-October, but at that time there will not be enough for everyone. She expects by the end of the year there will be 200 million doses available.

In the meantime, there are steps people can take to protect their families.

"Stay home if you're sick. Wash your hands," says Phillips. "Get to the doctor early with symptoms because anti-viral medications can shorten the course of the illness."

37 w 6 d

This is me. This is my best friend the couch. This is where I sit for hours each day. Where I sleep. Usually where I eat. Where I have had contractions for the last 2 days (dilated to 2 and 50% effaced) and now today... I've had NONE. I thought last night might be it. They were coming more frequently and stronger. And now... I have the couch to look forward to for another day. Ugh.


We had scheduled to have our tv turned off yesterday. Cable is gone. I've had cable since I was born I think. I'm jonesen for some good tv right about now... what were we thinking?? We should have waited until this baby came and I had no time to watch it... now I'm just plain bored. Yes I have books and movies... but you can only watch The Incredibles so many times. I am ready to get the show on the road. If you've got any good books, movies or tv show on dvd feel free to send them my way... this might still be a while.

I am feeling pretty good... just the normal heaviness, pressure, fatigue, tailbone soreness, peeing alot and on and off contractions. Had another dr appt yesterday. Was quick and painless. Bp was good, weight the same, normal urine... nothing big.

I've caught a really bad cold from Ellie. It has been one week today. The first couple days I had tons of drainage from my nose and a sore throat. Then it went to the runny nose and sneezes. Now it is a terrible phlegmy cough deep in my chest. I can feel it rattle when I breath in. My throat has started to hurt again today... but I was up coughing alot last night... and my ears are bothering me a bit. That should be a fun thing to go through labor with, huh?!

With all the time I've been spending on the couch... Ellie has been eating wonderful meals...

...like cookies at 9 in the morning...
and wearing crazy outfits... like her monkey pj dress over her penguin pj's... whatever. I don't have the energy to really care at this point! She must think I'm the best mommy ever right now.

I'm proud to say that last night was the first night we tried to do an overnight in underwear and she didn't wet the bed! We've been potty trained for quite some time now but have not attempted the nighttime thing... we've stuck with pull-ups (which are always loaded with pee in the a.m.). Well, they are expensive so last night I thought we'd just give it a go. It worked!! She woke me up a few minutes to 6 this morning to go potty! I'm so impressed. So proud. I pray it continues and it was really that easy.

The couch is calling... time to go lay down. :)