more WHINE when what i really need is WINE

I have checked out for the night. Off the clock. I am not getting up AT ALL. (yeah, all talk, I know.)

I have already put Ellie to bed and it's 6:46. Cooper was up there but will not stop crying. I actually threw his nook against the wall. Why is this child testing me so? There MUST be some reason.

We have just begun talking about having a 3rd at some point in the next 1.5-2 years. Do we want to or not? Greg would be ok with what we have. Or he'd take one more.

One minute I do, then Cooper reminds me again why I don't.

My blog has turned into a GIGANTIC whine fest lately and for that I am sorry, but this is my journal after all.

I can't handle another month of no sleep. Ellie was SO good. Such a good sleeper. She was also a good eater. Cooper will not eat anything. We were doing pretty well with rice cereal and a fruit or veggie for dinner. Then we started rice cereal for breakfast. Now we do neither. All he does is cry and fuss when we try to feed him solids. He throws his arms up and gets angry. He fusses. So we've gone back to full time bottles. He eats every 3-4 hours and he is almost 8 months old. UGH. Maybe this is normal... but I feel like he should go longer between 8 oz bottles. It is amazing how much you can forget about infants/parenting from one child to the next. Otherwise maybe I'm just a dimwit. Actually, with this lack of sleep I KNOW I am a dimwit.

Kids are wonderful little creatures aren't they?

Thank God I have some bud light in the fridge. Cheers! :)

p.s. Now Ellie is asking to have her ears pierced for her birthday... she is going to be 4. Should we do it at this age?? I just don't know. I have told her it will hurt. It will be like getting a flu shot in her ear lobe. That for days after wards they are going to be sore. That we will have to clean and take care of them. That they cannot come out. What to do? The bike was so much easier! But I'd love to get her ears pierced. She is such a girly girl and is always putting on her clip ons and her bracelets... dressing up. She always wants to wear a dress when we leave the house. Jeans just "aren't pretty" she has said. I don't even know where they pierce ears today... or how much it costs... anyone know?

ellie's wish list

Ellie is sitting here telling me her birthday list... to funny not to share.

Squeaky Dolphin pillow pet... one of those "as seen on TV" deals. They are pretty cute.

A "real" camera.

A "real" phone. (She is not getting a cell phone so don't even think about it anyone.)

A Barbie house.

Wings. (She wants to fly)

Barbie with dogs and cats. With a leash.

A checkbook.

Glasses.

Book markers.

A jumparoo for her baby.

A rocking chair for herself.

and the list keeps going on and on...

A bike (we are buying her this, shhhhhh)

A helmet.

A retainer for her teeth, "like you have mommy, for when I turn 16."

whoa nellie...

Life is going by fast and furiously. We need to slow down.

Working is crazy. It's making our lives a bit more hectic but I LOVE it! I love it. I am in charge of the babysitting service and a few other programs at our local Y. I can make up my own hours. Go in whenever I feel like it. I can come and go as I please. Go get lunch, take Ellie to school, go to a fitness class, swim laps, walk the track, or whatever I feel like doing then come back to work. It is AWESOME! And best of all I can bring my kids. I can also work at home!

It is such a family oriented place. I am just so blessed to have been chosen for this job and it couldn't have come at a better time. Next week I am starting Ellie in a one morning a week swim lesson class for little ones who are a bit leery about the water... for FREE! I have signed her up for preschool there... they have an on site preschool... she will be in class there 2 days a week while I'm there working! How convenient is that!!

This job is very challenging... supervising a staff of mixed ages from 16-40+... teenagers are a hard group to manage and train to do as you wish. But it's fun and will be rewarding. I can't get over the flexibility and the benefits I get. Cooper was sick on Monday so I needed to stay home... I had no one to call in to. I just called to let one of the other supervisors know I wouldn't be there. I felt NO GUILT! That was a wonderful feeling. I could stay home and take care of my baby (my priority) without feeling like I was making someone else's life inconvenient for the day. On Tuesday I felt I should go in for a few hours so I put Ellie in the babysitting service (for free might I add!) and took Cooper into the office with me. He just played/slept in his car seat and I worked for 3 hours. I could go on and on... but you get the jist. I feel so lucky, so blessed.

We had a bit of good news yesterday. Our second mortgage is going to let us just continue to pay it off rather than having to also foreclose on that amount on top of our regular mortgage. This is a GREAT thing. For one we will remain in good standing with our small hometown bank and for two it will hopefully allow us to avoid filing for bankruptcy. We have rec'd a letter from our mortgage co's attorneys and the sale of our home will be in May and we will need to leave by November. I go back and forth between being ok with all this one moment then crying the next. I am so sad because this is my home. Where I brought my babies home. Where Greg and I shared the beginning of our lives together. Where our memories are. We have beautiful flowers that will be coming up in the spring, a lilac bush planted in honor of Ellie's birth... these seem like such silly things... but they are OUR things. Our things that are sentimental to me. Every time I pull in the drive way I look at the house and start to tear up because this is our little home, our little home that we've had so much fun in. Ugh. I need to stop talking about this.

I have to remember what is important. My family is healthy. We are strong. We will be fine. While I feel right now like this is my "home", we will make wherever we end up "home".

Going to go have a bowl of cereal. But before I go here are a few new pics! Oh and Ellie never ceases to amaze me... last night when I put her to bed she says, "mommy, ya know, sometimes I feed my baby with my booby at night." Love her. :)

*** EDITED ***

I forgot! Absentminded that I am... It is Cooper's 6 month birthday today!! Where did those last 6 months go? Wow. Also a post to come... I am working on getting a stash of items needed for making my own baby food. So far I've scored a free food processor (thanks Katie and Scott!) and I've ordered 24 individual 2 oz cups with lids that are freezer, dishwasher and microwave safe. Has anyone out there used a manual food mill? KidCo has one that I'm kinda interested in but I'd like to hear your thoughts. I blended a banana for Coop last week and he ate it up like it was the best thing he'd tasted. I'm feeling the need to give him a more natural food, not all that processed crap from Gerber. I should follow that rule too, eh? Eat better myself... I type that as I have a Coke and a package of girl scout cookies next to me. Lovely.

busy day (I wrote this post on Tuesday... I am only now finishing it... 2 days later)

What a day we had yesterday. It was exhausting! My sister called and asked if we would like to go bowling. Ellie had never been before so I thought sure, that'd be fun.

Now I try and cram as much into one day as possible since we live 20 miles from "town". I don't like to make a trip in every day. It is to much work with kids and the cold! So I decided to try and see if I could also get Coop's 4 month check up in the same day.

11:00 - lunch at the bowling alley

12:00 - bowling

1:30 - I was going to a birthday lunch with the ladies from my very pt job - Katie was watching the kids

2:45 - Coop's appt

Oh and of course I had to get in early to get a coffee before hand or my day just WOULD NOT be a good one, ya know? :)

Surprisingly we made it to Clara's (Starbucks in town) and to the bowling alley by 11! Amazing since Clara's doesn't have a drive thru and I'm so desperate for my coffee that I haul everyone in for one! I am NEVER on time anymore. Never. So I was pretty proud. We had a yummy lunch. I breastfed Cooper for the first time at a restaurant. Which was interesting with a bunch of guys my dad's age who work for Red Wing Shoe sitting in the next booth. But I did it! Proud moment #2 of the day! :)

Finally after being asked by Ellie 193,742 times if it was time to go bowling, it was. She had a great time. Honestly it has been years since I've bowled and I had a pretty good time also.

Thankfully my dad stuck around and kept Cooper happy. :)
Why are bowling shoes SO attractive? ;-)
With bumpers...
Onto Cooper's appt...

Now my boy doesn't sleep. He is up all day. No napping. He falls asleep around 10 each night and is up by 1 to eat. Then 3 something, then 5 something, sometimes 2 something and 4 something... it is terribly exhausting. I haven't had a full nights sleep in over 4 months and that really starts to wear a person down. This was one thing I really wanted to talk to Dr. H about. He pretty much told me that I need to start a more consistent routine and get him to bed by 8:30ish every night, while he's awake. I don't know if I've just grown dumb since having Ellie but I just was letting him fall asleep in my arms each night. DUH.

So last night I put him to bed at 9:15. He fussed for maybe 10 minutes and was out! Seriously. Was it that easy? I'm hoping so. He was back up at 1 a.m. and I put his nook in and he was instantly back out. He then slept until 4 a.m.! So besides waking to pop a nook in I slept from 10:45 -4 a.m. last night. Whoa, it was awesome! :-)

Today I put him down at 10 for a nap. It was a no go. He cried and cried and I just couldn't listen to that! Now this afternoon I put him down when Ellie lays down for quiet time and they have booth been sleeping since 12:30! Praise God!! I love me some peace and quiet.

Stats: 27.5 inches long - off the chart!

15.9 lbs - 75th percentile

Dr. H also believes Coop is having some reflux and this may be why he isn't sleeping much. We've started a med for that, to try for 2 weeks and see if it helps. He is also spitting up a lot so we'll see if this helps. He also told me to start with the rice cereal as it might help to keep some of his food down and help him to sleep. I can't believe my little boy is getting so big already! I wasn't expecting to start cereal for a couple more months. :( He is growing up to fast!

pictures!

Because we just had to be 100% sure... :) (we actually took 6 tests in about 4 days!)

Our little Cooper at 8 weeks old.

A few of my favorite pics of Coopers birthday.












We've got none of Daddy on the computer yet... since he was taking all the pictures I'll have to get my mom's pictures loaded onto our computer then I'll post more!

at the cabin - 2009

Ahh... vacation. Nothing better than a week at the cabin. This year Greg and I left Friday July 3rd and headed to his mom's for the weekend. She lives with his grandma and sister on a beautiful lake in Northern WI. I love going there. It is quiet and peaceful. I get to relax a little bit as Grandma Mellie loves to plan activities, crafts, etc with Ellie. I usually get a good amount of reading (on the porch over looking the lake) done, which I love!

We spent the 4th grilling and letting off fireworks in the driveway. Ellie hated them... she burned her foot with a sparkler and she for some reason is deathly afraid of any loud noise... so these one particular fireworks Greg got whistled and popped at the end and she freaked and I had to take her in the house. I'm hoping this loud noise fear passes!!

Sunday we got up and spent the morning packing and getting ready to make the drive even further north to the cabin. Said our goodbyes to Greg's family and then we were off!

The view from our cabin... beautiful.

We spent a lot of time sitting outside looking at the lake and reading... it was SO nice.

Monday was my birthday (31 yikes!) and we needed groceries for the week so we headed into town to shop and bum around for the day. We started at the coffee shop of course... then headed downtown to hit some of our favorite shops. We love the bakery so we made a stop there... then to our favorite store where we always spend to much money on Teva sandals, North Face sweatshirts, sunglasses, etc. For some reason though I spent nothing there this year! (Quitting my job had definitely made me think more about a purchase... like do I really "need" it or "want" it? Being that it was my birthday my parents gave me some $$ to spend and I thought oh what the hey and bought the most over priced contradictory pair of Ugg flip flops ever... but I LOVE them! You know the sheepskin in a pair of Ugg boots? Well these flip flops are covered in the same fur... so comfy and soft. Aren't they cute?! (But fur on a flip flop seems so silly) :)

Tuesday we spent the day on the lake. It was such a beautiful day. I love nothing more than lounging in the sun reading a book. Ellie enjoyed driving the boat for us. :) My concern being out there for the better part of a day was how Ellie would go potty. We just hang our butts over the back of the boat to pee... well I knew she would not do that. So at one point we stopped at a public dock and I tried to get her to crouch down on the shoreline to pee and she just didn't get it. She kept trying to pull her bathing suit bottoms to the side... even in the water... which is totally not necessary! But she still wouldn't go. So finally I just took her up to the beach and had her go behind some bushes... which just cracks me up... she's such a girly girl.

I love this picture... it looks like she's pulling the boat up to the dock all by herself!
Ellie and Papa
Ellie and Daddy

The majority of the rest of the week was spent hanging out at the cabin... reading, relaxing, eating, napping... my sister and BIL spent quite a bit of time fishing... I think Ellie ended up catching more with her barbie fishing pole than anyone.

Ellie and Katie
Greg - So proud of Ellie's catch!
I think we are going to be in trouble in about 10 years... prayers please!

The boys went golfing one day... overall it was a nice relaxing week... except when my hubby would have a bit to much wine... like a bottle all to himself... and act like a fool.

Proof: (can you see the look of annoyance on my face?!) :)

Ok... the look of annoyance is worse here... but apparently Ellie thinks all is cool!

Dad, me and Ellie
Ellie got her drink on too... (really only a kiddie cocktail... but she sure liked the martini glass!)

And finally... our annual picture outside the main lodge... it was a nice week and once again I cannot wait to go back next summer!!

lots of stuff crammed in one post...

I am working on this post for the 2nd time since the first one got all messed up and I had to delete the ENTIRE THING... so you better enjoy this dammit!!

My 2 babies with owies on their toes. Greg had surgery for some ingrown toe nails (that are now infected... ick) and Ellie broke her pinkie toe nail in half. Ouch.
Every time Ellie comes into the store I work very part time at she LOVES to play with these 3 stuffed animals... she covers them with blankets and goes to bed with them.
Folding up the blankets to put everything away... time to go.
Ellie made her own Father's Day card for Greg. I am having a proud mommy moment. I wrote "Happy Father's Day" on a piece of paper and Ellie copied what I'd written ALL BY HERSELF! Thank you to daycare and their wonderful preschool teacher!! Pretty good for just turning 3!
At Greg's grandma's house... do you think she enjoys having her picture taken or what?!
My friend Melissa (check out her blog here!) came to visit her cousin who lives very close to me and they invited me and Ellie over for a day of swimming and lounging. It was just what I needed!! Ellie was a bit hesitant at first... she was on "hey I don't know you" overload... so she just watched for a little while.

Then when the pool was clear she decided to get in!
She's warming up...
Ok, now we're our normal self...
Hanging out at my cousins house...
On Sunday we had Miss Nora's 1st birthday party!! What a big girl!
Ellie loved the cupcakes... or at least she ate all the frosting off it...
Thanks to Jenn (visit her blog here!) I won a 96 load jug of all laundry detergent!! Good thing to because my jug is empty and on it's way out to the trash! (that's our fat butt Mae Mae as Ellie calls her)
This is how Ellie plays hide n seek. Apparently if she can't see you... you can't see her! Haha! Makes me laugh every time! :)