love me some candy

We got a package today! I LOVE getting packages... it usually means something fun is here! Usually it also means I've ordered something off ebay :).

But this time it was a gift from Greg's mom. CANDY! Happy Easter to US! :)

Get a load of this...

Oh yeah... chocolate, gummy bunnies, jelly beans, a cute chick wall hanging and MORE chocolate! Ellie declared this, "the best gift anyone ever gave all of us!"

Its a good thing I just got a job at the Y.

THANK YOU Melody!

so i sit in peace

I have been having a few hard days lately. Dealing with the embarrassment of losing our home, starting a new job, experiencing migraines, having to wake up 2-4 times a night with Coop all on top of having a nasty cold has gotten to me. Its wearing me down. Kind of depressing me quite honestly. Emotions are running on high, patience is running on low. Greg and I had a tense discussion today about our "roles" in our family and blah, blah, blah...

But then tonight I read THIS and realize I need to remember what is important in my life.

t.i.r.e.d.

I am just so tired.

Tired of not getting enough sleep. Tired of getting up a couple times a night with a 6 month old.

Tired of talking back. Tired of whining. Tired of constant "whys".

Tired of a messy house. Tired of laundry. Tired of dishes. Tired of coming up with ideas for what to make for dinner.

Tired of never getting enough done at work.

Tired of feeling stressed. Tired of being worried. Tired of being SO tired but then having insomnia.

Tired of budgets. Tired of bills. Tired of responsibilities.

Tired of fake people. Tired of gossip. Tired of 2 faced people. Tired of people thinking they are better than others.

Tired of driving 20 miles each way every day to work. Sometimes twice.

Tired of feeling embarrassed. Tired of feeling ashamed. Tired of being self conscious. Tired of worrying to much about what others think of me.

Just plain TIRED.

Anyone interested in meeting up with me there? April 10th or 11th. I think this sounds like a fun day and I am *determined* to win the Grand Caravan they are giving away :). Let me know. Here is the link if you wanna check it out!

apparently not so yum yum in his tum tum

So yeah. All my hard work an the little sh*t won't eat any of my food. Back to Gerber it is. Any ideas what I can use those cute little cups for other than baby food?

num num in his tum tum

I have decided to start making as much of Coop's baby food as I can. Mainly for the health benefits of him not eating all the processed baby food out there but also for the financial benefit. I got a FREE (what's better than that!?) food processor from my sister and BIL. Then I bought 2 dz of these handy dandy little 2 oz containers that are freezer, microwave and dishwasher safe.



Today I started with carrots. I washed, peeled, washed again and cut up 6 carrots. Steamed them for 15 min, threw them in the food processor, added some breast milk and wa-la, I had me a weeks worth of carrots!

Then I sent Greg to the store with a list... I wanted to make more! He brought home parsnips, a rutabaga, apples and a papaya. I had a butternut squash on hand and I also wanted sweet potatoes but we've been to 2 grocery stores and can't find them.



My motivation drifted after the carrots and I only got the parsnips done and the squash cut up. But it will get done within the next few days since we are almost out of our store bought baby food.

Parsnips ready to go into the freezer...

6 containers of carrots and 6 containers of parsnips!

It was surprisingly easy to do. I'm excited to try the fruit too. Most of the fruit and some of the veggies just require simple mashing and not cooking what so ever. Easy peasy. I've had the help of this little book below... in case you were interested. :)

a gigantic pain in the............................................................................................................................head

Can one not "feel" like they are stressed but their body does things to tell them otherwise? I feel pretty good. Happy in general. Relaxed most days. I enjoy life. Sure bills and such suck and the house situation bites the big one... but I was thinking I was handling things pretty well.

Then Monday came. I decided to stay home that morning with Cooper who had a pretty decent cold a'brewin. Shortly after 10 a.m. I was sitting at the computer and I started to see this zig-zag like flashing light in my right eye. I couldn't seem to see right. I had a blind spot where if I looked directly at an object I couldn't see it, but if I looked to the side of the object I could see it. So weird. But I now know what was happening was called aura. This same thing happened about a week and a half ago. But that was it. It just suddenly stopped.

Well this time it turned into a full blown migraine. And during the hours that followed, lying on the floor feeling like I was going to vomit, it still didn't dawn on me that this is what I was experiencing.

I didn't want to move. Cooper was sick. Ellie was being her usual busy body self who needed snacks, drinks, butt wiped, movies started, toys reached from the shelf, etc... and all I could do was lay on the floor. I felt terrible. Felt bad physically and felt bad for not being able to do anything for Ellie and being short with her. It took enough for me to move over to the computer and email Greg begging him to come home from work. 2 hours and 45 minutes after it started he walked through the door. Bless him. I fell asleep right there on the living room floor for over 2 hours.

I woke up feeling, as best I can describe it, like I had a stale headache. Dull, but still there. You know what I mean? Not fun. I hate them. I don't ever want another one. The pain, honestly, was worse than labor.

Do you get migraines? Why do they occur? How do you handle them? Can you avoid them?

whoa nellie...

Life is going by fast and furiously. We need to slow down.

Working is crazy. It's making our lives a bit more hectic but I LOVE it! I love it. I am in charge of the babysitting service and a few other programs at our local Y. I can make up my own hours. Go in whenever I feel like it. I can come and go as I please. Go get lunch, take Ellie to school, go to a fitness class, swim laps, walk the track, or whatever I feel like doing then come back to work. It is AWESOME! And best of all I can bring my kids. I can also work at home!

It is such a family oriented place. I am just so blessed to have been chosen for this job and it couldn't have come at a better time. Next week I am starting Ellie in a one morning a week swim lesson class for little ones who are a bit leery about the water... for FREE! I have signed her up for preschool there... they have an on site preschool... she will be in class there 2 days a week while I'm there working! How convenient is that!!

This job is very challenging... supervising a staff of mixed ages from 16-40+... teenagers are a hard group to manage and train to do as you wish. But it's fun and will be rewarding. I can't get over the flexibility and the benefits I get. Cooper was sick on Monday so I needed to stay home... I had no one to call in to. I just called to let one of the other supervisors know I wouldn't be there. I felt NO GUILT! That was a wonderful feeling. I could stay home and take care of my baby (my priority) without feeling like I was making someone else's life inconvenient for the day. On Tuesday I felt I should go in for a few hours so I put Ellie in the babysitting service (for free might I add!) and took Cooper into the office with me. He just played/slept in his car seat and I worked for 3 hours. I could go on and on... but you get the jist. I feel so lucky, so blessed.

We had a bit of good news yesterday. Our second mortgage is going to let us just continue to pay it off rather than having to also foreclose on that amount on top of our regular mortgage. This is a GREAT thing. For one we will remain in good standing with our small hometown bank and for two it will hopefully allow us to avoid filing for bankruptcy. We have rec'd a letter from our mortgage co's attorneys and the sale of our home will be in May and we will need to leave by November. I go back and forth between being ok with all this one moment then crying the next. I am so sad because this is my home. Where I brought my babies home. Where Greg and I shared the beginning of our lives together. Where our memories are. We have beautiful flowers that will be coming up in the spring, a lilac bush planted in honor of Ellie's birth... these seem like such silly things... but they are OUR things. Our things that are sentimental to me. Every time I pull in the drive way I look at the house and start to tear up because this is our little home, our little home that we've had so much fun in. Ugh. I need to stop talking about this.

I have to remember what is important. My family is healthy. We are strong. We will be fine. While I feel right now like this is my "home", we will make wherever we end up "home".

Going to go have a bowl of cereal. But before I go here are a few new pics! Oh and Ellie never ceases to amaze me... last night when I put her to bed she says, "mommy, ya know, sometimes I feed my baby with my booby at night." Love her. :)

*** EDITED ***

I forgot! Absentminded that I am... It is Cooper's 6 month birthday today!! Where did those last 6 months go? Wow. Also a post to come... I am working on getting a stash of items needed for making my own baby food. So far I've scored a free food processor (thanks Katie and Scott!) and I've ordered 24 individual 2 oz cups with lids that are freezer, dishwasher and microwave safe. Has anyone out there used a manual food mill? KidCo has one that I'm kinda interested in but I'd like to hear your thoughts. I blended a banana for Coop last week and he ate it up like it was the best thing he'd tasted. I'm feeling the need to give him a more natural food, not all that processed crap from Gerber. I should follow that rule too, eh? Eat better myself... I type that as I have a Coke and a package of girl scout cookies next to me. Lovely.