Wow, hi! It has been so long since I've updated here! Everything is going ok. Life has definitely changed. I am crazy tired. Getting very little sleep sure can do some crazy things to your body/mind! I have so much on my mind to talk about and my mind is just a cluster of thoughts right now. So this post may be a bit choppy!
Cooper is getting so big already! He eats like a horse. He is just completely the opposite of Ellie. He took to a bottle the very first time. He doesn't sleep much during the night and always wants to be held (even when he sleeps) so that is a tad challenging. He'll sleep 3 hours straight in my arms or 1 hour in his bed... hmm... which do you think I prefer? I am pumping and we are feeding him a bottle during the day so I can get a bit of a break. At night I breastfeed. Last Monday at discharge class he already weighed 10 lbs 5 oz! He will be 5 weeks old on Friday. Cloth diapering is going good. I usually wash a load of them every day but it seems so much easier then spending $50+ a month on disposables. The pictures below show one of the brands we were using... they are called Kushies... but I was not happy with their inability to hold in blowouts... in other words... we had to many leaks and so these are going on ebay. I much prefer the Bummis... will do a post on those later.
Ellie is adjusting. She is being naughtier than usual and her mouth has gotten her in trouble a few times. I am not able to give her as much of my time (obviously!) which has been breaking my heart a bit also. She is saying some weird things... like telling us she is sad (ugh, breaks my heart!). So we are now trying to give her more attention and positive attention. We want to have an Ellie and Mommy day and an Ellie and Daddy day once a month so we are hoping that'll help when we start that. We will do things like go to the park, have lunch, go have a coffee, etc. Just to make her feel more special. Yesterday we got a much needed break when my sister offered to take Ellie for the day. She took her out to lunch and shopping. Greg and I were able to run errands in peace! With just Cooper. We even had a quiet lunch alone. It was marvelous!!
Greg is also adjusting. This has been real hard for him. He was never certain he wanted children and now he has 2! He has a short fuse with all of us at times... he isn't a fan of the newborn stage of sleeping, eating, changing and crying. He was just perfectly content with Ellie and the nice routine we had with her. Cooper has thrown that routine WAY out of order!! :) Like I said... still adjusting! :)
I am also adjusting. My body is pretty much back to normal minus the jelly belly with terribly ugly squiggly lines running every direction over it! I healed well and fast this time. My mind on the other hand has not healed so much... I am tired and emotional. I am overloaded with emotions. I feel sad one moment content the next. I feel lonely. I feel overwhelmed. I feel scared because Greg is going back to work next week and I am going to be alone with 2 little bodies who need SO MUCH FROM ME! He is going back to nights also so I am going to have to be up all nigh (alone) with Cooper and then get up bright and early (usually 7) with Ellie. How the hell am I going to function? Plus I am looking at cleaning 2 family members homes once a week and my old boss is asking me when I'm ready to come work for her once a week or so and I have jewelry parties on my calendar. OMG. Can we say OVERWHELMED?!?! I am so overwhelmed. Ugh. I have my 6 week appointment in a week and a half so until then I am just not going to commit to any work schedule. I need to get my head and my hormones back in line... but am really feeling the pressure because we need the $$ so bad!
Greg has been out of work for over a month... not by our choice. So we have been hit hard financially and that has also caused a lot of my overwhelming feelings. He is our only income at this time and going from that to NOTHING is a bit of a challenge when one has a mortgage, utilities, student loans, etc... this last month has been nothing short of a miracle that we are still hanging on here, still married, still in love actually! We have been blessed with Greg's dad and my family being able to help us financially. We have been given so many wonderful gifts from friends/family... clothes for Cooper, formula, money, toys, gifts for Ellie and even paint for 2 rooms in our house (from Melissa - click here)!! Wow. It really has been unbelievable.
Greg has been out of work for over a month... not by our choice. So we have been hit hard financially and that has also caused a lot of my overwhelming feelings. He is our only income at this time and going from that to NOTHING is a bit of a challenge when one has a mortgage, utilities, student loans, etc... this last month has been nothing short of a miracle that we are still hanging on here, still married, still in love actually! We have been blessed with Greg's dad and my family being able to help us financially. We have been given so many wonderful gifts from friends/family... clothes for Cooper, formula, money, toys, gifts for Ellie and even paint for 2 rooms in our house (from Melissa - click here)!! Wow. It really has been unbelievable.
Ok. "my life with 2 kids" will continue another day. I have a heater of a little body sleeping on my chest and another one requesting something to drink... so I best be on my way.
Ta~ta for now :)
3 comments:
Phew...sounds like a lot!! But, I know you will handle it all just fine!! I think the days alone with Ellie each month will be a great thing and I am sure she will love it. The adjustment will get easier and easier each day...take care and get some rest when you can!!!
You can do it!! After I had the twins, I was very overwhelmed at first. My emotions were all over the place, and it took several weeks for my hormones to get on track. The husband went back to work when the twins were less than 2 weeks old, and I thought I might have a breakdown. Once it actually happened though, it wasn't as hard as I expected. Hang in there!
You can do it....cry when you want to cry...drink wine a lot...and hand them to Greg when he walks in the door!
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