We are having a heck of a time with Ellie. She just will not go to bed. We do the whole routine of dinner and a bath. Then we play for a little bit or watch one episode of Dora and head upstairs. We read a book and then give our hugs and kisses. All is good til then... then she throws a royal fit! Screaming, hitting, kicking and yelling. She gets so angry. I quickly give her one more hug and kiss and leave her room. She quickly gets out of bed and comes and stands by her door and cries. This has been going on for over a week. I am going to go insane here any minute.
She is currently screaming right now. Screaming "rockin chair" cause she wants me to come up and rock her. What is so bad about rocking her? Well I'm afraid she is going to think all she has to do is scream and cry and I'll come up each time and do whatever it is she wants me to do.
Last night I tried the cry it out method. She cried for 50 minutes. YES I SAID 50 MINUTES!! Then I went up to rock her for a few minutes and then lay down in bed with her and eventually she fell asleep. But she is continuing this behavior through the night. Some nights waking up 3 times! I just don't want her to think she can continue with this behavior and each time I'll come up and do what she wants.
So tonight I'm trying what my friend Miss suggested. She went through this with her oldest son (she's got 4 kids) around the time he turned 2. I'm NOT going to rock her. I'm NOT going to lay in bed with her. I'm going to go into her room without any kisses or talking and just put her back in her bed. I've already done this twice and oh is she pissed right now.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry right now. I'm angry, frustrated, sad, exhausted, pissed, confused and annoyed. And it doesn't help at all that Greg is working nights right now... and lots of overtime.
I am the boss. Not her. How the hell do I get her to understand this? I just want her to sleep so I can also get the sleep I need. Being a parent TOTALLY sucks right now. Totally sucks ass.
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edited 8:59 p.m.
I just went up again. Put her little butt back into bed and told her it was time for bed. (shame on me I kissed her on the cheek too) but dang it, do you know how hard it is to look at your little 23 month old baby in the eye when she's got tears rolling down her face and she's trying to catch her breath from crying so hard and you tell her that it is time for bed and we are not rocking! Geez. I'm crying now. But guess what. At this moment... she's quiet. Wow.
9 comments:
I will call you.
Its incredibly important and incredibly difficult to just never give in. You will show her who's boss when you don't give in, even after 50 minutes, or two hours, or three times a night.
Its very hard. But looking into her sad eyes just makes it harder. Don't look. Don't go in. Give her a big hug and kiss and say good night.
Call my Mrs tomorrow if you want to talk. She's off.
What your friend suggested is the Super Nanny method :). Many of my friends have had the same issue you're having with Ellie. Some have went back and forth with their toddler for months (yes, I said MONTHS!) about going to bed and staying there. Finally, most of them have adopted this method. According to them, the first few nights are pretty hard. I think one said she had to put the kid back in bed like 15 or 20 times one night, but they don't interact with them, they don't talk to them...they just put them back and bed and leave. It's worked for everyone I know after just a few nights. So, good luck with that!
We've had similiar troubles lately, but Ava's still in a crib so she can't get out. What she does though is stand up and "drop" her blankie right as I'm getting ready to walk out the door and screams until she gets it. I just went in, picked it up, told her good night and closed the door. After the third time I picked it up and took it with me.
I know every situation is different but I know that consistency is the key. Just think that this is much harder on you than it is on her. Like you said YOU are the boss, not her :-)
I hope it gets better soon!
Hey K- I'm with Chas on this one. Use the Super Nanny method. Just be consistent with it....it may take days to get it down, but it WILL work. She isn't going to remember any of this, so don't feel bad that she is crying. Don't talk, look at her or anything. Just put her right back in bed and leave. After awhile, she is going to know she can't pull this BS with mommy anymore. Make sure G is doing the same thing when he is home (at night and with naps). You guys are great parents and this will blow over. Try not to go insane!!! E is a great little girl....it's just the terrible two's! Someday you will look back at this and laugh! This may make you smile....Kyle and Pam go thru this with Chase a lot and he is only 7 months!!! (and this is the fault of the aunties and grandmas....we pick him up whenever he squeaks and now K & P have had to deal with the tantrums.....opps!!!!) Hang in there girl!!!!!! It can only get better!!! Hi to G for me! ~Meg
Do you think she needs to go back to her crib? If I were in your shoes, we would definitely revert back to the crib.
Thanks for all your support guys! Christy- we jumped the gun and already gave the crib away to a girl who needed it more than we did!! So as much as I'd like to put her back in the crib that isn't an option! And really it was just so hard on her... she moved around so much at night she'd hit her head/arms/legs/back, etc... that banging around in the crib would wake her up also... so we thought it would be a good time for the bed. Maybe a little too soon but now it's our only option. My girlfriend does have a toddler bed... maybe that would be better than the twin bed?? Hmmm... might have to try that.
Did you give the crib away or just let someone borrow it? What about baby # 2?
Christy- we gave the crib to my young cousin who is going to be a single mommy in a matter of weeks. She really needed it... plus it was a hand me down from her older sister anyway.
We'll get another one when the 2nd baby rolls around!
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